rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
