Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
