Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
