I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
