i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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