I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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