Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
