just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
