Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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