youre lurking in front of me
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Randomize
