good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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