i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
