i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
