my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
