i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
