I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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