Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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