Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
i believe in u and ur pee
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
