Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You were trust falling into bushes
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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