see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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