no. you can't hotbox the world.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
