so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
