he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
