Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize