Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
