the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
