Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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