Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
COCAINE IS GR8
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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