Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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