I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
A+ Viking dick
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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