my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
