New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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