Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
My vagina is very pro this idea
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
