Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
