i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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