If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
