I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
