My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
