Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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