ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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