Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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