Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Im part way to drunk.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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