Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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