he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
