All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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