either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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