Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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