U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
