Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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