my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
