Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Randomize
